MY NAME IS CHRISTOPHER
AND I SOLVE PROBLEMS

If I were a colour, I'd be black.
If I were a number, I'd be 13.
If I were a punctuation mark, I'd be a semicolon.
If I were a band, I'd be Kishi Bashi.
If I were a book, I'd be The Fountainhead.
If I were a car, I'd be an '88 Porsche 911 Carrera.

If I were a person, I'd be me.

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